06.25.07
Posted in Miscellaneous, Events at 1:02 pm by Shhh....
SAVE THE DATE!
It’s Hip to Give Blood
PGMA presents its First Annual Blood Drive.
Saturday, July 7th, 2007
9 am - 2 pm
Classroom 2
Please contact Brother Maher Kharma (301) 459-4942 to schedule your life-saving donation.
Gifts for all participants, insha Allah
~~~
We’ll also host our Annual Community Yard Sale. If you’re interested in vending, please contact Romana (301) 459-4942.
Prince Georges Muslims Association
9150 Lanham Severn Road
Lanham, Maryland 20706
301-459-4942
http://www.pgmamd.org/
Directions: Take Exit 20 Annapolis Road towards Lanham of the Capitol Beltway (495). Make left at light, stay in right lane towards Cipriano Road, merge slight right onto Lanham-Severn Road.
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06.23.07
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom at 10:55 pm by Shhh....
Rain is indeed one of the most important factors for life on the earth. Rain is a prerequisite for the permanence of life in a region. Rain, which carries great importance for all living things including human beings, is mentioned in various verses of the Qur’an where substantial information is given about the formation of rain, its proportion and effects. The fact that it was not possible for any of this information to have been discovered at the time of the revelation of the Qur’an shows us that the Qur’an is the word of Allah.
Now, let us examine the information given in the Qur’an about rain.
The Proportion of Rain
In the eleventh verse of Surat az-Zukhruf, rain is defined as water sent down in due measure. The verse is as follows:
“And He who sends down (from time to time) water from the sky in due measure, and We raise to life therewith a land that is dead. Even so will you be raised (from the dead)”. (Surat az - Zukhruf, 11)
This “measure” mentioned in the verse has to do with a couple of characteristics of rain. First of all, the amount of rain that falls on the earth is always the same. It is estimated that in one second, 16 million tones of water evaporates from the earth. This number is equal to the amount of water that drops on the earth in one second. This means that water continuously circulates in a balanced cycle according to a “measure”. Another measure related with rain is about its falling speed. The minimum altitude of rain clouds is 1200 meters.
When dropped from this height, an object having the same weight and size as a rain drop, would continuously accelerate and fall on the ground with a speed of 558 km/h. Certainly, any object that hits the ground with that speed would cause big damage. If rain happened to fall in the same way, all harvested lands would be destroyed, residential areas, houses, and cars would be damaged, people would not be able to walk around without taking necessary precautions. What is more, these calculations are made just for clouds of 1200 meters high, whereas there are also rain clouds at an altitude of 10.000 meters. A rain drop falling from such a height could normally reach a very destructive speed.
But this is not how it works; no matter from how high they fall, average speed of rain drops is only 8-10 km/h when they reach the ground. The reason for this is the special form they take. This special form increases the friction effect of the atmosphere and prevents acceleration when the rain drops reach a certain speed “limit”. (Today parachutes are designed by using this technique.)
This is not all about the “measures” of rain. For instance, in the atmospheric layers where it starts to rain, the temperature may fall so low as 400 C degrees. Despite this, rain drops never turn into ice particles. (This would certainly mean a fatal threat for the living things on the earth).
The reason is that the water in the atmosphere is pure water. As known, pure water hardly freezes even in very low temperatures.
The Formation of Rain
How rain forms remained a great mystery for people for a long time. Only after air radar were discovered, could it have been possible to learn by which stages rain formed.
The formation of rain takes place in three stages: First, the “raw material” of rain rises up in the air. Later, clouds are formed and lastly, rain drops appear.
These stages are clearly defined in the Qur’an in which precise information was given about the formation of rain centuries in advance; “It is Allah Who sends the Winds, and they raise the Clouds: then does He spread them in the sky as He wills, and break them into fragments, until you see rain-drops issue from the midst thereof: then when He has made them reach such of his servants as He wills behold, they do rejoice!”
Now, let us look at the three stages mentioned in the verse;
1st Stage : “It is Allah Who sends the winds…”
Countless air bubbles formed by the foaming in the oceans continuously burst and cause water particles to be ejected towards the sky. These particles which are rich in salt, are then carried away by winds and move upwards in the atmosphere. These particles which are called aerosols form clouds by collecting around themselves the water vapour - that again ascends from the seas - as tiny drops, by a mechanism called “water trap”
2nd Stage : ” … and they raise the Clouds: then does He spread them in the sky as He wills, and break them into fragments ….”
The clouds form from the water vapour that condenses around the salt crystals or the dust particles in the air. Because the water drops in these are very small (with a diameter between 0.01 and 0.02 mm), the clouds are suspended in the air and they spread in the sky. Thus the sky is covered with clouds.
3rd Stage : “…. until you see rain-drops issue from the midst thereof.”
Water particles that surround salt crystals and dust particles thicken and form rain drops. So, the drops which become heavier than air depart from the clouds, and start to fall on the ground as rain.
The conclusion to be arrived here is that; Every stage in the formation of rain is told in the verses of the Qur’an. Furthermore, these stages are explained in the order they take place… Just like in many other natural phenomena in the world, it is again the Qur’an that provides the most correct explanation about this phenomena as well, and more, that has announced these facts to people centuries before they were discovered by science.
Life Given to a Dead Land
In the Qur’an, a lot of verses call our attention to a particular function of rain, which is “giving life to a dead land”. It is stated in a verse as
“…. We send down pure water from the sky. That with it We may give life to a dead land, and slake the thirst of things We have created,- cattle and men in great numbers”. (Surat al-Furqan, 48- 49)
In addition to furnishing the earth with water, rain also has a fertilisation effect.
Rain drops that reach the clouds after being evaporated from the seas, contain certain substances “that will give life” to a dead land. These “life-giving” drops are called “surface tension drops”. Surface tension drops form on the top level of the sea surface which is called the micro layer by biologists. In this layer, which is thinner than one tenth of a millimetre, there are many organic leftovers caused from the pollution of microscopic algaes and zooplanktons. Some of these leftovers select and collect within themselves some elements which are very rare in sea water such as phosphorus, magnesium, potassium and some heavy metals like copper, zinc, cobalt and lead.
These “fertiliser” laden drops are lifted up into the sky by the winds and after a while they drop on the ground inside the rain drops. Seeds and plants on the earth find numerous metallic salts and elements essential for their growth here in these rain drops. This event is informed in another verse of the Qur’an as follows:
“And We send down from the sky rain chartered with blessing, and We produce therewith gardens and grain for harvests.” (Surah Qaf, 9)
Salts that fall with rain are small examples of some fertilisers (calcium, magnesium, potassium etc.) used for increasing fertility. The heavy metals found in these types of aerosols, on the other hand, are other elements that increase fertility in the development and production of plants.
Forests also develop and are fed with the help of these sea-originated aerosols. In this way, 150 million tons of fertiliser falls on the total surface of lands every year. If there was not a natural fertilisation like this, there would be very little vegetation on the earth, and the ecological balance would be damaged.
What is more interesting is that this truth, which could only be discovered by modern science, was informed by Allah in the Qur’an centuries ago.
http://www.playandlearn.org/reader.asp?Type=QuranicArticles&fn=106
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Posted in Miscellaneous at 10:46 am by Shhh....
Our Evolving Language
There are many troubling phrases in our language that we use without considering their full meaning simply because they have been accepted into common knowledge. Even as our ideals progress, our language maintains some phrases from our past that no longer serve us, for example: Boys don’t cry; good child; boys will be boys; problem child; illegitimate child; and many more. While these phrases may be used without harmful intent, they are inherently negative. Children can be especially sensitive to such phrases, which may stay with them their whole lives, adversely affecting their self-image and wounding their self-esteem. We can create positive change by choosing not to use these words and phrases as we come across them in our vocabulary.
It is challenging to examine our habits in terms of the words we use to express ourselves, but it is also exciting. Language is an area where we can exercise our free will, creating positive change in the world around us by simply choosing carefully the words we use. It may seem like a small thing, but our words have a rippling effect, like a stone thrown in a pond. People naturally pick up on the way other people speak, consciously or unconsciously changing the way they speak in response. We don’t need to actively try to influence people; it happens without our even thinking about it. All we have to do is choose to be more conscious ourselves, putting to rest words and phrases that are outmoded, insensitive, or harmful. We can also exercise our creativity by creating new phrases that carry positive and loving energy to replace the old ones.
You may already have some ideas about phrases you’d like to transition out of your language, and now that you’re thinking about it you may come across many more. As you consciously decide not to use these phrases, you may feel lighter and more joyful, knowing that you have chosen to drop baggage that was handed down to you from a less conscious time. As you do so, you elevate the language for future generations who would no doubt thank you if they could.
-DailyOM.com
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06.22.07
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom at 6:28 pm by Shhh....
TWENTY IMPORTANT POINTS ON PSYCHOLOGICAL COMPLEMENTARIES IN MARRIAGE
1. In marriage, for man, woman is a need, and for woman, man is security.
2. A man is attracted to a woman when the woman makes him to feel masculine; similarly, a woman is attracted to a man when the man’s presence makes her feel feminine.
3. Attraction for utilization is the motto of womanhood, and impress to achieve is the goal of manhood.
4. Man expects physiological and psychological care with personal attention from his woman, whereas woman expects emotional and psychological care from her man to possess him for protection and security.
5. Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed, and women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
6. For man, first physiological needs are to be satisfied in sex, then only he turns to emotional needs; whereas for women, first her emotional needs are to be satisfied then only she can turn to her physiological needs: that means man feels his own feminine after his male’s is satiated, similarly woman feels her own masculine after her female’s is satiated.
7. In any inter-personal interaction, other than verbal, in marriage, he is active but she is receptive; she being fulfilled, he is fulfilling.
8. Even in the interpersonal relationship in marriage, man’s priority is to achieve his goal, whereas woman’s priority is the importance of their relationship.
9. The six different kinds of emotional support for love in marriage are: -
(i) She needs caring, he needs trust.
(ii) She needs understanding, he needs acceptance.
(iii) She needs respect, he needs appreciation.
(iv) She needs devotion, he needs admiration.
(v) She needs validation, he needs approval.
(vi) She needs reassurance, he needs encouragement.
10. In any inter-verbal interaction between couple, if wife is overwhelmed husband tries to advice with solutions, or mistakenly tries to defend himself; so also, in the pensive mood of husband the wife tries to improve him.
11. Woman’s communication is for sharing, but man’s is solving.
12. Woman’s thinking is expanding but man’s is purpose-oriented, similarly their talking also prevails.
13. A Woman’s attitude is empathetic, whereas a man’s is self-oriented.
14. (a) In a relationship, woman expands to serve the needs of others, whereas man contracts to build focusing and self-absorption. Man has focused awareness and feminine has open-awareness.
(b) In an irk-some position, because of open-awareness, women tent to blame themselves first and due to focused awareness men to blame others first.
15. In stress and tension: -
(a) Man needs solutions for which man goes to his cave and woman likes to share in a non- focused way.
(b) Men increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. He feels better by solving the problems and she feels better by talking about the problems.
(c) A man needs time and space to find objective solutions, so he becomes increasingly focused and withdrawn; whereas a woman needs time and attention to find her subjective solution, hence she becomes increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved.
16. When a man is upset, he wants to be alone; whereas, if a woman is upset, she needs companionship and love.
17. In a serious situation, man thinks and processes lonely, tests his outcomes outside, reassesses them on account of reactions and arrives at the solution; whereas woman thinks and processes loudly to tap her intuition.
18. In marriage, man wants the right to be free, expects to be allowed for his own privacy; whereas woman wants the right to be upset, and expects to be understood.
19. Woman involves others for her decision-making, but man only consults in his decision-making.
20. Men like rubber-bands suddenly pulls away, distances himself and comes back on his own; whereas, a woman’s self-esteem, like waves, rises and falls, and it hits bottom for emotional house-cleaning.
TEN REASONS FOR PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE
1. Dissatisfaction, in satiation, irritation and hurt, and establishing of such negative attributes in marital relationship.
2. Improper communication, misunderstanding and allowing the accumulation, or suppression, of resentments
3. Disrespect for the other’s individuality, disregard for the other’s values and too much possessiveness.
4. One’s hurting-egoism, selfishness over common-interest, and domination over the other’s individuality
5. Ignorance of difference in natural attitudes and approaches between the two genders
6. Ignorance, or not caring, of the other’s primary needs of love.
7. Incompatible, or uncompromised, differences in perceptions, preferences and approaches, and widely differing value systems.
8. Nurturing the other in his own way; serving the other in his own point of view of the other, and expecting the other in his own point of view and values.
9. The unwarranted intervention, or disregard, during the other’s natural psychological reactions, unique to the gender.
10. Lack of expected role-play, and the difference between the expectations on account of one’s personal values and the reality
TEN REASONS FOR CONFLICTS IN MARRIAGE
1. Attack on identity.
2. Lack of satisfaction, or satiation.
3. Misunderstanding and communication gap.
4. Vicious Circle: - Disagreement, or misunderstanding, leads to feeling attacked and finally this leads to counter-attack.
5. Lack of understanding and support during one’s emotions: rubbing the spouse with negative attitude during the mood.
6. Non-performance of duties and non-fulfillment of responsibilities: instead of accepting mistake defending the mistake.
7. Difference perceptions on priorities and lack of handling the issue jointly.
8. Lack of uncritical humour, fun and frolic in their privacy.
9. Arguments: - Arguments usually occur on account of (1) vague statements; (2) Request in a negative way; (3) not listening or not trying to understand; (4) giving importance to ego than mutuality, or common interest.
10. Adhering to instigating attitudes.
TEN REASONS FOR CRISIS IN MARRIAGE
1. Tension on account of lack of trust, or faith
2. Misunderstanding the meaning in communication of the partner due to ignorance of the natural difference in the other gender’s communicational approach
3. Stress, rigidity and suspicion.
4. Wife doesn’t like her man to be: - untrusting, condemning, uncaring, too much dependent on her, irresponsible, insensitive, impulsive, unkind, thoughtless, unloving, too offending, critical, and rejecting.
5. Husband doesn’t like his woman to: lazy around the house, unattractive, sexually cold, emotionally serious, noisy, sneaky, overtly critical, quarrelsome, bad mother, inflexible, too independent and bold, disrespected nagging, negative to his relatives, too dominating and too emotional.
6. Clash between their personal values.
7. Lack of adjustment, flexibility, and adaptability in the interest of marriage, or family.
8. Expectation of (one sided parental) affection instead of (mutual) love in marriage.
9. Non-adhering to socio-martial values.
10. Criticizing coercing, coaxing, evaluation, masking, blaming, and accusing are the psychological axe, which hut the feelings.
http://www.geocities.com/naseehath/english.html
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06.20.07
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom at 3:01 pm by Shhh....
Asalaam u alaikum,
AS the nice summer months are upon us so is the wedding season. And as I look at the new couples and see the light in their eye and the skip in their walk I can’t help but feel a warmth in my heart and a kind of nostalgic feeling. As some of my friends and I were sitting around one day discussing this very topic we were reminiscing about our own early days of marriage and what a tranquil time we had. We all recalled that period of our life as one of the most precious memories of our lives. It was a time of a new change in our lives, it was so wonderful to feel free and loved and belonging to someone all at the same time. As Muslims since we have a very sheltered and restrictive life from the opposite gender, we are still nevertheless humans. And when we marry for us it is as if our mate is our boyfriend or girlfriend and we live for some time in a bubble where the only thing we focus on is our mate. As women we want to cook wonderful foods for our husband, we want to dress nicely, and our husbands they wanted to spend time with us. They would also dress nicely for us. They would ask what we wanted to do, what we would like to eat and where we would like to go. It was as if we only existed to make each other happy.
Unfortunately this lasts for at most for 2 years or fades as the first gift, the baby, from Allah arrives. And slowly for the husbands their careers take the front seat, especially if they are ambitious, and for wives their children become their sole concern. For the same wives who once labored tirelessly to create the most wonderful dishes and create masterpiece desserts and cakes, now making sure their husbands have their meals is a chore which somehow needs to get done, and shortcut recipes and strategies are always being hunted for. Everything else takes over our lives, so that we have no time for each other anymore, and if we did then culture also steps in and creates a hurdle. Most of our culture teaches us to always place the children, the job, the in-laws, the community, and anything else in the world as more important than the relationship of husband and wife.
IF a couple are ever asked to leave their children to attend a function, their first notion would be not to go, or to have one of the parents stay home with the children, and if by some fluke they did end up leaving the children alone they would feel so guilty the whole time that they might as well not have gone at all.
It is not that the couple does not want to spend time with each other, rather it is that custom starts dictating what is right and wrong. They start focusing on things like, “Oh we are too old for that kind of stuff now,” “Now it is time for the children, who has time for romance?” However, many spouses still long for the long-ago feelings and what I have found is that it is mostly the wives who are in this boat.
However, in researching the life of the Prophet (s), I saw that even in this aspect if we were to follow his sunnah, our lives would be so much more fulfilling.
The Prophet (s) would spend so much time with his wives and he would spend it with them happily. He would help them in their housework. He would play sports with them. He was kind and gently and very loving towards them. And he was the Prophet (s)!!! If anyone in this world ever had a good excuse for not spending time with their wives it would be the Prophet Muhammad (s), the Great Messenger who brought us the message of Islam and then spread it.
In order to cement his marriage bonds, the Prophet applied language to instill love and happiness in the hearts of his wives. Instead of calling her Aisha, he would call her Aaish. He conveyed messages and greetings of peace to them from Angel Gabriel as reported by his wife Aisha. (Bukhari)
The Prophet (s) is the best example of a loving husband. Aisha (ra) talked about the times when she enjoyed meals with him. He enjoyed his meals only when she sat next to him. They drank from one cup and he watched where she placed her lips so that he could place his lips on the same area. He ate from a bone after she ate and placed his mouth where she had eaten. She also said that he placed morsels of food into her mouth and she would do the same. (Muslim)
When the Prophet (s) left his house–even as he left to pray in the Mosque–he used to kiss his wife. (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)
Aisha (ra) accompanied the Prophet (s) on a trip. She and he were at the back of the group. They heard the guides in front calling them and others to move faster. The Prophet (s) challenged her to a race. She beat him. Then, later, on another trip, he challenged her again. This time he beat her. Aisha (ra) said that she was slender when she beat the
Prophet (s). When she put on weight, he knew he was going to beat her and therefore he challenged her the second time. (Ahmad)
We need to learn from our great Prophet (s). Dear sisters, it is okay to leave your children with a babysitter maybe twice a month, and to go out with your husband. Try to dress up for your husband. When he comes home, wear nice clothes and cook a wonderful meal, do your hair, wear nice perfume, believe me he will like it. It is not good only to keep asking for time, we can take some matters in our own hands. Our husbands work hard and some have some incredible responsibilities, and if we took the initiative, they would appreciate, and in turn reciprocate. Maybe some ladies who are close friends can set up a timetable and take turns in watching each others children on so that the one couple can have “date.” It is important to take time for yourselves. It is for Allah too, as it would give you pace and happiness and make you strong mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
http://muslimmedianetwork.com/mmn/?p=1069
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