06.25.08

Forgiving People

Posted in Pearls of Wisdom at 2:23 pm by Shhh....

Shaykh Saud Ash-Shuraym (Imam of the Haram)

**************** FRIDAY KHUTBAH *************************

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem - In The Name Of Allah, Most Merciful & Most Kind..

All praise is due to Allaah, Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger, his household and his companions.
Fellow Muslims!

The most truthful speech is the Book of Allah SWT, and the best guidance is that of Muhammad. The worst of all matters are innovations and every innovation is misguidance.

Dear brethren! Know that the life of this world is just an enjoyment and that the Hereafter is the abode of permanence.

“Fear Allaah, O men of understanding, in order that you may be successful.”
(Al-Maaidah 5:100)

Dear Muslims! Freedom of the heart and the mind from hatred and egoism is a sign of a righteous and amicable Muslim, who has no ill-feeling against anyone and is not jealous of anyone. He is selfless and knows that this world is just a transitory abode and not a permanent one. In his view, this world is nothing but a step stone to the Hereafter. What is the value of man in this world if his heart is filled with selfishness and harshness?
Many are those who are looking for ways to attain glory by all means. But there is a great source of glory that most people are oblivious of, though it is easily attainable: The key to that is a strong will and holding back one’s self from pursuing personal ego.

The desired glory can be attained through having sense of forgiveness. Being gentle-minded, having good opinion of others, excusing others, exonerating people, suppressing anger and forgiving others are some of the most important qualities encouraged by Islam in human dealings. He who has these qualities deserves to be among the glorious and elevated people.

The Messenger of Allah said, “No wealth is ever diminished by charity. Allah increases a man who forgives others in nothing but glory and no one humbles himself except that Allaah elevates him.”
(Muslim)

According to the narration of Imaam Ahmad, the Messenger of Allaah said, “If an injustice is done to a man and he overlooks it, Allaah will give him glory and victory with it.” This is the essence of glory; O you who are looking for one!

It is a glory and exaltation in this world and in the Hereafter. This is so because Allaah has made a promise to those who possess these qualities when He says,
“And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious: Those who spend (in Allah Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves the good-doers).”
(Aal Imraan 3:133-134)

Dear brethren! Those who suppress their anger are those who do not vent their rage on people. They rather desist from bothering others and hope to get their reward from Allah. Those who forgive are those who overlook the wrong done to them by others. They bear no grudge in their hearts against anyone. Whoever possesses these qualities should rejoice with the love of Allah for him, for he has attained a level of righteousness and Allah says, “Allah loves the righteous.” Allah loves whoever is righteous; and if He loves someone He forgives him and shows mercy to him.

Fellow Muslims! Forgiveness is a symbol of the pure, righteous, deliberate and pleasant Muslim. Forgoing one’s rights is a kind of preferring the benefits of the Hereafter above that of this world. Being generous to others with pure a mind and out of piety commands their love and respect.

Forgiving others is not an easy matter. For, one has to fight and overcome one’s self-centeredness and sense of revenge. This can only be achieved by the strong men who are able to overpower the desires of their heart even though they are able to express their anger. Allah says,
“And indeed whosoever takes revenge after he has suffered wrong, for such there is no way (of blame) against them.”
(Ash-Shooraa 42:41)

Forgoing one’s right and having self-control are signs of overcoming the norms. This is where one stands distinguished from others. This is the real strong person that the Prophet praised, according to the hadeeth reported by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim. The Messenger of Allaah also said, “Whoever suppresses his anger while he is able to express it, Allaah will call him in the presence of all creatures [on the Day of Resurrection] and ask him to choose of the houris [of Paradise] the ones he likes.” (Ahmad)

Fellow Muslims! Since the day our distinguished religion encouraged adoption of sense of pardon and forgiveness, it did not do in a narrow sense. It rather makes it wide-ranging so that it can include many aspects of private and public interactions. Islaam encourages people of higher authority to adopt sense of forgiveness as part of their policy, for doing so is a sign of successful leadership. Allaah commands His Messenger to adopt this policy when He says,

“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don’t punish them).”
(Al-A‘raaf 7:199)

He also says,
“And by the Mercy of Allaah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allaah’s) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs.”
(Aal ‘Imraan 3:195)

This encouragement to adopt the sense of forgiveness is also extended where blood and requital are involved. Allaah says,
“But if anyone remits the retaliation by way of charity, it shall be for him expiation.”
(Al-Maaidah 5:45)

The spouses are also encouraged to demonstrate sense of forgiveness concerning bridal money if divorce occurs before the marriage is consummated. Allaah says,

“And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed unto them the Mahr (bridal-money given by the husbands to his wife at the time of marriage), then pay half of that (Mahr), unless they (the women) agree to forego it, or he (the husband), in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to forego and give her full appointed Mahr. And to forego and give (her the full Mahr) is nearer to At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness) .”
(Al-Baqarah 2:237) People are encouraged to exercise sense of forgiveness when they transact with one another. The Messenger of Allaah said, “Whoever frees a Muslim from a commercial obligation, Allaah will forgive his sins.” (Aboo Daawood and Ibn Maajah)The Prophet also informed us about a merchant who used to give loan to people. Whenever he realizes that one of his debtors was in a financially strained situation, he would command his workers, “Write off some of his debt [or all of it], that Allaah may wipe off our sins. So, Allaah wiped off his sins.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

The spirit of forgiveness while dealing with others is generally emphasized in the case of a man who came to the Messenger of Allaah and asked him, “How many times shall we forgive [our] servants?” The Prophet did not respond. The man repeated the question and the Prophet yet did not respond. When the question was repeated again, the Prophet said, “Forgive him seventy times every day.” (Aboo Daawood and at-Tirmidhee)

Dear brethren! Forgiving others and overlooking their mistakes do not in any way mean weakness or submissiveness. It is rather an excellent example of bravery, doing favour to others and suppressing one’s desires, especially when this spirit of forgiveness is exercised in the time of strength.

Imaam al-Bukhaaree titled a chapter in his Saheeh concerning avenging the injustice with the saying of Allaah,
“And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, take revenge.”
(Ash-Shooraa 42:39)

He then narrated that an-Nakha‘ee said, “The righteous predecessors did not like to be humiliated; but if they were capable of avenging a wrong done to them, they would forgive.”
Al-Hasan ibn ‘Alee said, “If someone insults me in this ear of mine and apologizes in the other, I would accept his apology.”
Ja ‘far as-Saadiq said, “To regret twenty times for forgiving people is dearer to me than to regret for punishing them once.”
Al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyaad said, “If someone comes to you complaining about another person, tell him: ‘My brother, forgive him, for forgiveness is close to piety.’ If he says: ‘But my heart cannot bear that. I would rather take revenge as Allaah has commanded me.’ Tell him: ‘If you are able to take revenge in the best manner, you can proceed to do so; but if you are not, resort to forgiveness, for its gate is wide. He who forgives and amends, his reward is with Allaah. The one who forgives passes his night in his bed happily and contentedly but the one who takes revenge always ponders on these things. This is because; magnanimity lies in forgiving one’s brethren.”

However, there are some people whose hearts are so hardened that they cannot forgive anyone. Nothing in this life is more important to them than taking revenge. They are like permanent clouds. They are neither pleased with secret or public apology. They notice the slightest wrong done to them but they fail to consider the apology however clear it is. They would listen with one of their ears to some sayings and they would convulsively rage for what they hear, yet they would block the other ear from listening to any apology even it is backed with proofs.
He whose situation is this is an enemy of himself who have been subdued by the desire, thereby forcing him from the righteous quality of forgiveness to the abhorrent trait of seeking revenge. ‘Aaishah narrated,

“The Messenger of Allaah never beat any woman or servant with his hand. He never struck anyone with his hand except when he was fighting in the way of Allaah. Also, he never avenged any harm done to him, except if one of the sanctities of Allaah was being violated. Then he would take revenge for Allaah.” (Muslim)
Though avenging an injustice is everyone’s right, yet forgiveness is perfection and piety. Allaah says,
“The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah. Verily, He likes not the Zalimoon (oppressors, polytheists, and wrong-doers) .”
(Ash-Shooraa 42:40)

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allaah as He should be feared and know that Islaam’s encouragement of sense of forgiveness is not restricted to what is outward and apparent. It should rather be adopted apparently and inwardly. A Muslim should not only give up his right to revenge, he should also forgive the offender from his heart. Allaah commands His Prophet,
“Overlook (O Muhammad (peace be upon him)) their faults with gracious forgiveness.”
(Al-Hijr 15:85)

There are many places in the Qur’aan where Allaah encourages both relinquishing the right to avenge and forgiveness. He says,
“But forgive them, and overlook (their misdeeds). Verily, Allaah loves good-doers.”
(Al-Maaidah 5:13)

He also says,
“But forgive and overlook, till Allaah brings His Command.”
(Al-Baqarah 2:109)

And He says,
“And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give (any sort of help) to their kinsmen, Al-Masakeen (the poor), and those who left their homes for Allaah’s Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allaah should forgive you? And Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
(An-Noor 24:22)

Allaah also says,
“O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (i.e. may stop you from the obedience of Allaah), therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
(At-Taghaabun 64:14)

To overlook and forgive are some of the qualities of our Prophet. Where then are those who are ready to emulate him?! Where are those who have been overwhelmed by sense of revenge? Where do they stand regarding beautiful qualities of the leader of the Messengers?
The mother of the faithful, ‘Aaishah was asked about the character of the Messenger of Allaah. She answered, “The Messenger of Allaah was never given to immoral sayings and deeds. Neither did he ever raise his voice in market places. He did never reciprocate a wrong done to him with the like. He would rather overlook and forgive.” (At-Tirmidhee)
Allaah says,

“That which is with Allaah (Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who and put their trust in their Lord (concerning all of their affairs). And those who avoid the greater sins, and Al-Fawahish (illegal sexual intercourse) , and when they are angry, they forgive.”
(Ash-Shooraa 42:36-37)

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06.21.08

Domestic Violence: Message from Sister Asma

Posted in Pearls of Wisdom at 3:25 pm by Shhh....

A Societal Imperfection With No Place In A Perfect Religion
By Asma Hanif
Muslim Link Contributing Writer

Peace is the absence of violence. In order to make peace with others,
one must first have peace within themselves.

Domestic violence is an affliction disruptive to the peaceful
co-existence of husband and wife. Such disruptive states infringe not
only on the immediate family, but also the Islamic family community at
large.

Domestic violence does exist within the Muslim community. One may
consider this existence an imperfection within a perfect way of life,
or a paradox in which imperfect humans behave imperfectly. However it
is viewed, it’s presence cannot be denied.

Dr. Pamela Heath, Medical Director of Muslimat Al-Nisaa, states
“Domestic violence within the Muslim community is difficult to
quantify due to under-reporting. It would not surprise me if
non-Muslim physicians over-estimate it and Muslim physicians
under-estimate it. Neither is doing any good for the victims or the
image of Islam”.

We cannot hope to attain a peaceful existence until we acknowledge
both on an individual level and at a community level that abusive
behavior does exist within Muslim individuals and within the Muslim
communities.

Admittedly the world is full of problems, ranging from homelessness
and domestic violence, to drug addiction and fornication.

If we fail to acknowledge these real world problems, then we allow
them to carry over into our Islamic way of life, and subsequently fail
to circumvent the human imperfections which created them.

However, domestic violence cannot be justified under the guise of
human imperfection — a cornucopia of experiences, mistakes and
illusions relative to man’s reliance on his own unguided opinions and
desires. Therefore, regulation of actions cannot be by our own
judgment, but by choosing to be guided by the Quran and the Sunnah of
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) without any consideration of
one’s self.

Communities which fail to discourage violence and persecution in
accordance with the Quran and Sunnah will also fail to provide
shelter and social services for its victims. In these communities,
open harassment, or other harmful acts against innocent individuals
not only continue unopposed, but they flourish.

Within the conceptual framework of Islam, a perfect religion, there
can be no tolerance of domestic violence. Such tolerance signifies a
passive acceptance of domestic violence as well as an injustice which
one is unwilling to prevent. Failure to be proactive in the face of
domestic violence can be understood as a magnanimous indulgence shown
toward the perpetrator without the moral determination to externally
disapprove of the action.

This kind of tolerance implies indifference towards right and wrong
and in principle, a countenancing of this imperfection.

Hence, it is clear that tolerance of domestic violence is a failure of
every man to recognize their religious, moral and ethical obligations.
Truly, “Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!”
Robert Burns.

Intolerance of domestic violence should be a prominent characteristic
of believers, nationally and internationally . Further, for the safety
and protection of those victimized by their and our silence, including
the ‘covering of faults’, perhaps there should be the establishment of
some degree of universal recognition of abusers.

Allah (Subhanahu w taala) Says: “This day, I have perfected your
religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for
you Islam as your religion” (Quran, Surah V:3)

Allah (Subhanahu w taala) completed His favor on us with a ‘perfect’
way of life, if there are any imperfections in creation, it is due to
disobedience to Allah (SWT). Even though there exist many examples of
imperfections in society, none exist as flaws in Islam. When we
utilize the Quran and Sunnah as our criteria it serves to purify
mankind from all imperfections.

Inherent within this perfect religion are ayaat and hadith which
should touch the hearts and conscience of the ummah compelling them to
leave behind apathetic behaviors and move aggressively toward the
elimination of domestic violence as a social ill within the Muslim
community.

If we don’t have the desire to make things better, then things will
never get better.

Domestic violence has to be resolved in the context of Islam. Those
who know Islam, understand Islam, and love Islam must become proactive
in keeping ‘peace’ within this perfect religion.

The paradigm of thought cannot simply be the abhorrence of domestic
violence, but must also include the enforcement of the tenets of
justice contained within Islam, a Perfect way of life. Protecting
victims should be a simple matter of adherence to the Quran and
Sunnah. However, preventing abuse requires active work by the
community at many levels.

Insha Allah on August 2nd & 3rd, in the Washington, DC area, Muslimat
Al-Nisaa organization will provide a conference, forum and fundraising
banquet whereby community beliefs and attitudes that support domestic
violence will be changed and the entire Muslim community will see
themselves as part of the solution. SAVE THE DATE!
GOAL:
The organization is currently seeking funding for the Dr Maryam Funches Shelter for Muslim Women Victims of Domestic Violence.
Donate to
Muslimat Al-Nisaa at www.mnisaa.org or
Mail: 5115 Liberty Heights Ave,
Baltimore, MD 21207
(410) 466-8686

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PATIENCE IN AFFLICTION AND CALAMITY

Posted in Pearls of Wisdom at 3:21 pm by Shhh....

Translation From Madarij-Us-Salikeen By Imam Ibnul Qayyim

A servant of Allah must strive to attain patience when tried or afflicted at the hands of oppressors, and also when coping with natural calamity. And by three means should one seek divine help to sustain it.

FIRST, ANTICIPATE THE GOODLY REWARD OF CALAMITY.

The more solemn and certain is one’s focus on the Heavenly reward of patience and faith in one’s affliction, the lighter the calamity becomes-just as when one looks forward to the plenitude of an expected recompense or salary for one’s work, the burden of one’s labor grows easier. Were this not the case, were no one to put forth effort for a future whose reward is not already in hand, the affairs of this world would grind to a halt. The nafs, of self, is shortsighted, looking only for what is immediate. It is a characteristic of the intellect, or aql, however, to anticipate consequences and plan ahead to accomplish goals.

The wise of all nations agree that luxuries cannot be obtained by indulging in luxuries. One who opts for comfort at a time of hard work faces hard luck at the time of reaping comfort. The more diligently one works, the better the reward.

The point is that observing anticipating, and being certain of goodly reward in the future sustains patience. And being patient when things are difficult means both endurance in things that are beyond one’s control and perseverance in deeds that are within one’s control.

SECOND, ANTICIPATE THE EASE AFTER DIFFICULTY

Expecting relief after hardship lightens the encumbrance of calamity – especially if one’s hope is strong and one recognizes that comfort after calamity is certain. A servant of God finds, even in the midst of trials and tribulations, a ray of hope and a breeze of comfort, and this subtle anticipation alone itself becomes a comfort to him. These are the moments when one grasps the meaning of God’s name, Al-Lateef (the Kind, the Gentle, but also the Knower of subtleties).

THIRD, PERCEIVE THE INSIGNIFICANCE OF THE CALAMITY.

One realizes the true triviality of calamity by two means:

1. By recounting the copious blessings and benefits bestowed by Allah upon one. For when the servant recognizes that he is incapable of counting or encompassing them on account of their sheer plenitude and magnitude, his calamities appear minute to him by comparison. Thus one realizes that measured against the blessings of God that one enjoys, one’s calamities are like a drop in the ocean.

2. By recalling the immense blessings of Allah bestowed upon one in the past, and using this as a means to the realization that the goodly reward (that accompanies patience over calamities) is great, indeed. Hence, one is to dwell on the delight of the coming reward and wait with excitement for its arrival in the near future, both in this world and (with bliss) in the Hereafter.

It is reported that there once was a pious woman given to much worship who stumbled, fell and severed her finger completely. Yet she (neither cried nor screamed) but laughed. Someone asked her why she laughed, and she said: “Let me respond to you according to the extent of your understanding. The sweetness of the reward that I anticipate because of it made me forget the bitterness of its loss”.

By the “extent of your understanding,” she meant that the questioner’s spiritual awareness was limited to the overt. Otherwise, he would have seen –not merely the suffering she experienced – but rather the One who caused the suffering, His wisdom in choosing this suffering for her, how graciously He granted to her the joy of gratitude to Him, the pleasure of being pleased with Him in all things, and the high praise and spontaneous gratefulness that came out of her loss.

PATIENCE, AGAIN IN THREE KINDS

Sabr can be looked at in three grades: Patience ‘by’ God (sabr billah) – namely, that in which a servant seeks God’s help for other purposes, patience ‘for’ God (sabr lillah), and finally, patience ‘with’ God’s commandments (sabr ala ahkamih). The first is patience driven by hope in God’s reward, fear of His chastisement, and desire for God. A person exercising this kind of patience does not see himself as having patience within him. Nor does he see himself as capable of it (on his own). But his state is one of having attained the realization of the phrase: There is neither capacity nor power save ‘by God’. Thus, his is a state of knowledge, awareness, and embodiment (of this virtue).

Patience ‘for’ God is of a higher status than patience ‘by’ God, for the former is related to God’s divinity (uluhiyyah), the latter to God’s lordship (rububiyyah). The first is part of worship (ibadah), the second correlates with seeking God’s help (isti’anah). Now, since worship is the ultimate objective, and seeking help a means to it, it follows that patience for the sake of worshipping God is of a higher station than patience for other reasons for which God’s help is sought.

Patience ‘by’ God (namely, such causes for which God is relied upon to accomplish other purposes in the world) is a quality shared by believers and the ungrateful, the pious as well as the wicked. This is so for the simple reason that any one who realizes the reality of human existence in the world has, at some point in life, to be patient with his circumstances and look to God for help to one or another end.

Patience ‘for’ God, on the other hand – namely, in serving and worshiping God and doing His work – is the station of the messengers, the prophets, and the foremost believers (siddiqun). That is to say, it is these who experience the truth of iyyaka na’buduwa iyyaka nasta’in – It is You along we worship (O God!). And It is You along we ask for help” (1:5).

Finally, patience in fulfilling God’s commandments is of a higher station than patience in abiding by God’s decrees wherein one has no choice, as was the case we mentioned elsewhere with the Prophet Joseph (PBUH). His resistance of the temptation and seduction of the wife of the High Minister of Egypt was of a higher station than his patience upon being abandoned in the well by his jealous brothers. For commandments are of two kinds: “Normative” (ahkam shar’iyyah) and “existential” (ahkam kawniyyah). In the case of the existential decrees, one has little choice but patience, while with God’s divine decrees, one must strive to fulfill them, sacrificing in the path of God, and then persevere therein.

(Courtesy: Al Jumuah Magazine)

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